While reading through Judith Butler’s slog of an essay called Gender Theory,a question in particular approached me: “When and why, for instance, do some butch lesbians who become parents become ‘dads’ and others become ‘moms’?”(Butler 9). How do same sex relationships determine exactly who should be the male and who should be the female? This is a particular quote that I’ve been focusing on since reading Butler.
It brings to mind of some children’s shows I watch now that have been growing more accepting of same sex marriages, particularly, shows like Steven Universe, Voltron, and more recently, The Loud House. The last show in particular I want to examine in depth, as it does feature same-sex parents. The Loud House is a show that primarily focuses on Lincoln Loud the middle child of a family of ten sisters. His best friend is Clyde McBride, who comes from an extremely caring and polite household, whose parents, Howie and Gary are gay men.
Now it should be known that neither of Clyde’s dads are traditionally the stereotypical male, and are more nurturing, a trait normally exhibited in a mother of a more traditional nuclear family. Both care deeply about Clyde and try to protect him, particularly in this episode, Snow Way Down, in both of Clyde’s dads do whatever is in their power to protect Clyde and Lincoln from going down a dangerously steep hill on a stay at a winter cabin, to an over protective degree. Clyde is then determined to prove his independence by disobeying them when both the dads and Lincoln end up at that dangerous hill.
Another episode showcasing Clyde’s dads is Attention Deficit, where Lincoln, exasperated with his sisters stealing all the attention from his parents, decides to go to Clyde’s dads for the assistance he needs with his homework. In comparison to his house, the McBrides’ household is well-kept, clean, organized, there are massage chairs, and the meals aren’t prepared by microwave, and less loud(because they don’t have to deal with 11 kids). These homemaking and compassionate traits are normally seen in mothers, but these are two guys that exhibit these traits. Therefore, they’re more “moms” than they are “dads”. I think the white dad even faints as a gag.
I guess as a way to answer Butler’s question of parental roles in a same sex relationship, it depends upon the behavior of the partners.
